one time i was at my friend’s house while her sister was getting arrested and 3 cops walk into the house one checks all the rooms and when he looks in the first bathroom there i am sitting on the toilet seat in south park boxers shaving my legs and we just lock eyes and i just kinda freeze and after like 4 seconds of absolute silence i’m like “…what seems to be the problem officer” and he shut the door on me
i rue the day I shared this w/ the internet
you know them moments when you look in the mirror and you think holy shit that’s me because for some reason it feels like the person you’re looking at in the mirror is an unfamiliar stranger and you begin thinking about how you’re a person on a planet in a solar system in a galaxy in a universe and for a few minutes you ponder the origin and the meaning of existence and then shrug and return to your computer
In case you dudes weren’t sure whether or not it’s easy for us to tell a guy no and have him respect our answer.
I hope this gets all the attention
You are now my bitch!
My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to f***
Ah thank you very much, I always like a punch that goes right in the feels.
remember when lil wayne said “real g’s move in silence like lasagna”
that shit fucked me up
and then i realized the “g” in “lasagna” is silent
i was like “damn……”
that man never got the deserved credit for that genius line.